Figgy Pudding

Snow White here……..

I’m not so much writing about a particular date or a particular someone today. Today I will be writing about the perils of being single during the holidays. There are so many things wrong with being single during this time of year while at the same time being oh so right. There are so many questions and uncertainty during this time, at least for me there is. Do you subject the person that you have been dating for a couple months to your not so normal family gatherings? Do you buy them a present? These are the things that have been running through my head these past couple of weeks.

I know that everyone thinks their family is crazy. And I agree that most people’s families have the best way of embarrassing you and making you wish that you were adopted. My family is not like this. They are the most caring and thoughtful individuals that I have ever met. The whole lot of them strive to be the best that they can be and encourage and truly wish the same for you. BUT, yes there is a but, we have two weird traditions that I love and couldn’t go through the holidays without. The problem is that I grew up doing these traditions every year, so it all seems rather normal to me. I found out later in life that “normal” families do not do the same things we do. I’m sure by now your interest is peaked and you are wondering what the hell we do that could be so abnormal. Well let the craziness begin.

I spend Christmas with my dad’s side of the family every year, I’ve never missed one in my 26 years and don’t plan on missing one EVER. Every year we have roast “beast” for dinner and it’s always fantastic!!! Here is where it starts to get a little nutty. After dinner we all sit around the dinner table, turn all the lights off except for the lit candles on the table, my grandma brings out the figgy pudding and sets it in front of my grandpa (If you’ve ever had figgy pudding then you know that it is a vile creation, it gives me goose bumps just thinking about it.). My grandpa then proceeds to pour a brandy and everclear mixture over the top of it and lights it on fire. The first sight of that pretty blue flame we all start to sing – what do we sing you ask? Well of course non other than “We Wish You A Merry Christmas” – you know the song. Are picturing this in your head now? Fifteen people sitting around in the dark with a figgy pudding on fire in the middle of the table singing “Oh bring us some figgy pudding, Oh bring us some figgy pudding, Oh bring us some figgy pudding, and bring it right here!!! We wont go until we get some, we wont go until we get some, we wont go until we get some, so bring it right here.” All the while my grandpa over poured the brandy/everclear mixture and the table cloth is catching on fire.

The lingerie box. We have this pink lingerie box that has lace all over it from the 1920’s that someone had gotten something in – it’s not important. I don’t know how this started but someone had re-gifted a present in this box and I guess the family thought it was HILARIOUS. Well the tradition of the lingerie box started there and hasn’t stopped yet. Someone every year will get a gift in this box, you then have to keep it and protect it from being damaged all year and then find something that fits in it to re-gift it the next year. Then when the person unwraps their gift everyone points and laughs and says “Oh man, you got the lingerie box, hahahahahaha!!!!” I love the fact that this happens every year and it is still as funny as when someone got it the year before.

So now that you know some of the weird things that go on during my holidays. What would you do? I know that if someone really likes you then they should accept your family and blah blah blah blah. BUT do you really want to put you and your family out there like that so soon? I think not, guess its going to be another holiday season hanging out with the fam singing Christmas carols around the burning table and probably getting that damn box that I have to keep for a year and I’ll be doing it all by myself!!!

Peace out biotches!!!!