This is Why You Should Never Date Friends

Ok, so I thought that I would tell you about the boyfriend that I broke up with a couple of months ago. I've known him for years as he is a really good friend of my Crazy Ass Ex. Let me explain here, I normally have very strict rules on who I date -
1. Never date your friend's current or ex-boyfriends
2. Never date ex-boyfriend's friends
3. Never date someone who has a girlfriend (if you know, you are just as bad as the cheater)
4. Never date people with bad hygeine - cause that's just gross.

It all started in April.....I'm going to have to admit, I had been drinking (shocking, right?), and I had just gotten into another ridiculous fight with my ex, so I was feeling a little bitter at the time. It's all a little fuzzy on how it actually started but somehow BS (those are his initials, I cant think of a better name right now) and I end up making out. Now later we come to find out that we have both been attracted to each other for over a year. But since I was dating his friend there was zero chance of anything ever happening. Well, piss a girl off and things that were off the table just got put back on.

We started seriously dating after that, needless to say it ruined any friendship either of us had with The Ex. We didnt care, we were in love. He was hilarious, and I dont mean chuckle every now and then funny, I mean tears rolling down your face on an hourly basis funny. He was charming, he had a good job, he got along with my family (which is a very big deal to me, my parents have hated almost every boyfriend I've ever had), he got along with all my friends, and the sex was mind-blowing. I was turned into a bubbly, giggling, girly mess. I know you know what I mean when I say that, people in love are annoying. Annoying because we are jealous.

I thought I was in heaven, Until little things started happening, he mentioned he never wanted to be married or have kids. Now, I'm not saying that I want any of that right away, but eventually I would like to do these things. And it was constant, he just couldn't let it go. Then I found out he had these weird depressing moments that would last about a week. This may sound heartless, but I cant deal with that. I'm a very happy, social, bubbly person; I cant be tied down to someone who once a month refuses to leave the house because he's having mental PMS. It started to make me feel depressed. Eventaully, it got old. Feelings dissipated like they always do and I had to break it off. I broke his heart. That doesn't make me feel good at all.

We talk every now and then, but for the most part I disappeared from his life. I broke up with him in the beginning of October, so we were only together for about 5 months. The relationship has ruined any sort of friendship that we had before all this began, which I think is the saddest part of it all. But, lots has happened since then, so come back and read what happened to me next....

Snow White

Has it been a year already!!!!

I know it's been awhile and we have totally been bad bloggers, especially after a very short time blogging in the first place. But Snow White is back!!! While the other two princesses are off enjoying their wonderful boyfriends, I'm still single. Now I wasn't single the whole time but we will get to that later. Quick update on Cinderella, she is actually engaged now and we are all very happy for her. She finally found the guy that she is going to spend the rest of her life with. It's actually the last guy she wrote about here on this blog. And Ariel, well she is in a relatively new relationship with a great guy that she met at school.

Now on to me, this past year has had it's ups and downs for me, I'm sure just like everyone else's. I got laid off. I made some really good friends and lost some really good friends that I regret dearly. Oh do believe I will be working on getting a few of those back. I had a great boyfriend who adored me, and I broke it off because I wasn't feeling it anymore. What do you do though? Stay when someone loves you more than you could ever love them? I just dont think that's fair to do to someone. But, I'm not looking back anymore, I'm moving forward, I'm not going to be mopey or depressing, I won't do that to you, I promise.

I do have lots of stories though to catch you up on that happened over the past year, but I think this is a good start for now. So, I'm packing 2009 away right next to 2008, hopefully 2010 will bring some good times, good friends, and fun stories, I mean what else could a princess ask for?? BTW, I start back in school January 4th, you know what that means, I'm going to be surrounded by cute younger guys who wont know what hit them when they get a hold of me. I'm not going to lie, some of them might need therapy afterwards. Oh yeah, 2010 is going to be a fun year.

Write back soon,
Snow White

Crazy Ass Ex

Snow White here with a doisy......

Well, we said that we would have some great stories for you and boy do I have a good one. So, I’m sitting at my new house with a bunch of friends yesterday watching football and having a grand ole’ time until my phone starts ringing off the hook with a blocked number. I don’t answer it the first couple of times because I don’t answer the phone if I don’t know who it is – this is because I tend to give my number out to the most random people when I’m out and about. So I finally answer the phone because they continue to call, and who is it you ask? It’s The Ex’s new girlfriend…….. I know you are probably thinking weird…… Me too. So, she is calling because she wants to know what exactly is going on between us. I proceed to tell her that we aren’t dating or anything but we still do occasionally SLEEP together – not sex sleep, just sleep. That he tells me all the time that he still loves me and wishes that we could just figure it out and be together.

You can imagine that she isn’t very happy with this information. She was told that we were just best friends but that I was still in love with him and he would cancel plans with her to hangout with me because he felt bad for me and didn’t want to hurt my feelings. WTF??? Hurt my feelings??? He was the one who wanted to spend every single waking moment with me!!!!! And here’s the good part – she also tells me that I should know that he has all my passwords for my bank account and phone records and that he has been spying on me for the last 3-4 months. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!!! This is why she thought something weird was going on because if we weren’t dating why the hell would he care what I was doing, right? So she gets smart, steals my number from his phone and calls me. I know this all sounds very high school, believe me yesterday I thought I went back in time 8 years and could see myself sitting on the bleachers meeting with this girl and swapping stories.

After being on the phone for about an hour and a half with this chick getting every single piece of info from each other, I get off the phone with her and immediately call him. He answers and I say very calmly “Guess who I just got off the phone with? Your girlfriend you fucking piece of shit!!!” I then proceed to hang up. He doesn’t call me back for about an hour because he was on the phone with her trying to explain everything to her. He then calls me and was being very apologetic and saying a lot of bullshit, I can barely contain myself at this point and am so pissed. He explains that he is in love with both of us and that he’s sorry and that things just started to get out of control. And I say “I don’t care who the fuck you’re in love with, YOU STOLE MY PASSWORDS AND INVADED MY PRIVACY!!! You were one step away from becoming stalker guy who follows me around and hides outside of my house peeking through my windows. YOU ARE FUCKING PYSCHO!!!!”

Needless to say, I’m glad I already moved out. At least I don’t have to talk to him anymore. The only problem is that we have a lot of the same friends. And we are a pretty tight group. So I am going to have to see his stupid face when we all get together. At least they all know what really happened because all of his friends were the ones at my house that day. So they heard everything…….. They all think he is a loser, serves him right.

Hopefully this is the end to this nonsense.

P.S. Gym Monkey and I are planning another Ghost Hunting trip, I'll let you know how that goes......

Packing 2008 away, bring on 2009....

The lovely Snow White here,

Is this year over yet? I’m ready to pack 2008 away and bring out the new 2009. It’s always refreshing starting a new year, looking at all the possibilities of what’s to come. Maybe this will be the year I find my prince. I won’t keep my fingers crossed though. I’m in no rush but at times I sit back I wonder what the hell I’m doing wrong. I’m hanging with a bunch of friends tonight and couldn’t be happier that I am starting the New Year with them instead of some stupid boy I will probably never see again.

The problem though with spending New Years with friends and only friends (no outside people – so there’s no possible way that I am going to meet someone new) is the kiss. You know the one where everyone screams “Happy New Year” and then you kiss the person you are with. Well this year there is no person to kiss, other than my friend that I am moving in with– at least the boys will get a kick out of it, who doesn’t like girl-on-girl action? Oh, well at least it’s something right?

This year has been an extremely hard one for me in the relationship department. Trying to get over and move on from The Ex has proved to be much harder than I originally thought ten months ago. I’ve dated a couple people off and on – There was The Drunk, who you can tell by his name was a no brainer to get rid of. Very childish and one of the biggest light-weights I’ve ever met. It’s pretty sad when your 5’ girl-friend can out drink a grown man. There were lots of random guys met at bars that were fun to hangout with that night where I had the fullest intention of waking up and calling the next day but never did, most likely because when I woke up I realized I wasn’t that interested.

Then there is Gym Monkey who I would never be able to have a relationship with but is lots of fun to mess around with. We are two completely different people who could never have a serious relationship. I am happy with our relationship as it is, no strings can be a wonderful thing now and again. It works for us both. Anyways that pretty much sums up my pathetic love life of 2008 – one of the worst so far. So I’m packing it up tonight and shoving it in the back of my closet where it will collect dust and be forgotten. Let’s hope that 2009 doesn’t get shoved in there next to it. I can hope at least……..

Hope everyone has a wonderful New Year and may it bring everything you wish or hope for. I know I’m happy to see it’s finally here.

Figgy Pudding

Snow White here……..

I’m not so much writing about a particular date or a particular someone today. Today I will be writing about the perils of being single during the holidays. There are so many things wrong with being single during this time of year while at the same time being oh so right. There are so many questions and uncertainty during this time, at least for me there is. Do you subject the person that you have been dating for a couple months to your not so normal family gatherings? Do you buy them a present? These are the things that have been running through my head these past couple of weeks.

I know that everyone thinks their family is crazy. And I agree that most people’s families have the best way of embarrassing you and making you wish that you were adopted. My family is not like this. They are the most caring and thoughtful individuals that I have ever met. The whole lot of them strive to be the best that they can be and encourage and truly wish the same for you. BUT, yes there is a but, we have two weird traditions that I love and couldn’t go through the holidays without. The problem is that I grew up doing these traditions every year, so it all seems rather normal to me. I found out later in life that “normal” families do not do the same things we do. I’m sure by now your interest is peaked and you are wondering what the hell we do that could be so abnormal. Well let the craziness begin.

I spend Christmas with my dad’s side of the family every year, I’ve never missed one in my 26 years and don’t plan on missing one EVER. Every year we have roast “beast” for dinner and it’s always fantastic!!! Here is where it starts to get a little nutty. After dinner we all sit around the dinner table, turn all the lights off except for the lit candles on the table, my grandma brings out the figgy pudding and sets it in front of my grandpa (If you’ve ever had figgy pudding then you know that it is a vile creation, it gives me goose bumps just thinking about it.). My grandpa then proceeds to pour a brandy and everclear mixture over the top of it and lights it on fire. The first sight of that pretty blue flame we all start to sing – what do we sing you ask? Well of course non other than “We Wish You A Merry Christmas” – you know the song. Are picturing this in your head now? Fifteen people sitting around in the dark with a figgy pudding on fire in the middle of the table singing “Oh bring us some figgy pudding, Oh bring us some figgy pudding, Oh bring us some figgy pudding, and bring it right here!!! We wont go until we get some, we wont go until we get some, we wont go until we get some, so bring it right here.” All the while my grandpa over poured the brandy/everclear mixture and the table cloth is catching on fire.

The lingerie box. We have this pink lingerie box that has lace all over it from the 1920’s that someone had gotten something in – it’s not important. I don’t know how this started but someone had re-gifted a present in this box and I guess the family thought it was HILARIOUS. Well the tradition of the lingerie box started there and hasn’t stopped yet. Someone every year will get a gift in this box, you then have to keep it and protect it from being damaged all year and then find something that fits in it to re-gift it the next year. Then when the person unwraps their gift everyone points and laughs and says “Oh man, you got the lingerie box, hahahahahaha!!!!” I love the fact that this happens every year and it is still as funny as when someone got it the year before.

So now that you know some of the weird things that go on during my holidays. What would you do? I know that if someone really likes you then they should accept your family and blah blah blah blah. BUT do you really want to put you and your family out there like that so soon? I think not, guess its going to be another holiday season hanging out with the fam singing Christmas carols around the burning table and probably getting that damn box that I have to keep for a year and I’ll be doing it all by myself!!!

Peace out biotches!!!!

I Really Know How to Make a First Impression

Snow White here!!!

Ok, I have been very casually dating someone for the past month. I thought that I would just write about how we met. It was at a bar, so I was drunk, I sort of made a fool out of myself. What better way to start out with the stories than one where I make an ass out of myself.

The princesses went out for Ariel's 26th birthday to a local bar/club to celebrate about a month ago. And I seriously drank a little too much - not puking too much, just I'm going to possibly make an ass out of myself too much. At around 11 o'clock I grab Cinderella by the hand and say “let's walk around this place and find some cute boys.” We both looked pretty hot so I knew that it was only going to be a matter of seconds before someone wanted to talk to us, right? We start out walking through the "Hip-Hop" dance room, no luck there. We then walk through to the other side of the bar and walk through the other dance floor, I notice one cute guy by the bar and as I walk by I look behind me and give the coy "I think you're cute" smile - you know the one ladies. We then proceed to the outside deck area, where we find NOBODY!!! I don’t know if it was unattractive night or what but it was full of unapproachable people. So, we turn around to go back inside and I'm thinking to myself at least there was the one guy by the bar. As we pass him I make eye contact and give the "I'm interested smile" (because those two smiles are completely different), and proceed to walk away. Cinderella then says "he just winked at you!", and of course I miss it!!! Dang it!! We are already half way across the bar by now - oh well, I’ll give it a few before I go over there again.

There was no need to, after about two minutes I'm talking to some other friends and low and behold who is standing behind me? The cute guy! I know I was pretty excited about it myself. But wait, he's talking to one of my friends, so I turn around and ask my friend if she knows this guy - pointing and all. Apparently they've known each other for awhile, so I let them talk and continue my conversation with a couple of my friends - feeling a little defeated at the time. After about five minutes I get sick of waiting for their conversation to end and I turn around and blurt out in my ever so sexy drunk voice "when are we going to talk, cause I know you followed me over here." Pretty smooth, if ask me. He says with a huge smile on his face "just give me one more sec and I'm all yours". Wait, did you just tell me to hold on a sec? This is not starting out good.

I continue to talk to my friends and he finishes up his conversation. We then walk out of the crowd and do the whole introduction thing. You know the name, how old, what do you do conversation.... Come to find out he owns his own business as a personal trainer. That's when I start trying to remember the last time I even went to the gym or did anything that could be considered exercise. Does walking outside to get the mail count? Or wait, I just went grocery shopping and totally had to walk around the grocery store- that definitely counts as exercise. He then asked me for my phone # before he forgot to get it. He enters it, I look at it and say "Yep, that's my number". We continue to talk about things that I have no recollection of, this is where it starts to get interesting. I do remember saying that the band that was playing sucked and then found out that it was his friend’s band and that was the reason why he was there in first place. I seriously need to learn how to keep my mouth shut sometimes.

We are continuing to talk and are getting along pretty good. I then get this really strong urge to kiss him. And blurt out while he is mid-sentence "I really want to kiss you". And him being the male that he is, says "then go for it". Yep folks, we were those really classy people making out in the middle of the bar, but we don’t care cause we're drunk. We talk, kiss, then talk again, and kiss again. It pretty much goes like this for another hour. Cinderella then informs me that one of our friends is drunk and needs help to the car. I tell, lets call him Gym Monkey (cause of his job....I don’t know), that I will be right back. So we get our friend in the car and she is safe and sound, I run back in the bar to say goodbye to my new found friend. Except he's gone..... I literally looked everywhere and found nothing!!! I get really sad, and just hope that he calls me later.

Fast forward to that Monday, still no call from Gym Monkey, have pretty much chalked it up to a fun kissing session. I forgot to tell you he's one of the best kissers too. He does that thing where he holds your face and then stops the kiss just to look in your eyes thing, AMAZING, but I digress. So I log onto Myspace (cause isn’t that what we all do when we get to work on Monday morning), and what do I see? Is that a friend request? From whom you ask, Gym Monkey. And I'm thinking to my self, what the hell?? You don’t have the time to call but you have the time to track me down on Myspace? I accept his request and promptly ask him this question. Later that day he responds with "You gave me the wrong number, I tried to call you that night cause I couldn’t find you and some guy answered at the phone # you gave me. At this point I start hysterically laughing, cause I can just picture him calling me at 1:30am trying to find my drunk ass and then having a dude answer the phone.

So, we exchange numbers and he ends up calling later that day, we promptly make plans for our first date. Later that day I was thinking over all of these events and then realized something…….. If I were a guy and tried to call some girl I met at a bar and it ended up being the wrong number I would think that she purposely gave me the wrong number. Would I then track this so called person down on Myspace just to find out if she actually gave me the wrong #? NO! Because then it would make me look like a creepy Myspace guy…… I promptly call him and tell him this of course.

Introductions

Hi, I’m Snow White.

No that’s not my real name, we are using fake names to protect ourselves. Some of the things that we are writing on here are things that other people might not want out there for the world to read. This first post is going to be me introducing myself to you. I’m twenty six years old and have some horror/hilarious/crazy dating stories that I want to share, who knows maybe they will help someone else out or at least make them laugh. It happens a lot so don’t feel bad.

I am the trouble-maker out of the three princesses. I am 99% of the time the one that’s up the latest. I am usually always down to go to some random guys house that I met at the bar for the “after-party”- even though I know the only reason why they are asking is to try to get me into bed. But what usually ends up happening is me held up in some wrestling move because I challenged some guy to a fighting match because I think I’m tough when I drink.

I also like to think that I’m pretty funny. So I NEED to date someone who can keep up with my oh so witty remarks and shoot them right back at me. It’s no fun to have one-sided wit contest. I am one of the biggest flirts I know, and am at my best game while text messaging. Text sex is way better than phone sex – you guys really need to check that out.

I tend to find myself in these ridiculous situations without realizing how I got there…… well I do, but I think I have an alter-ego that takes control over my decision making. All of a sudden I’ll be “what the fuck am I doing?”, either that or I wake up trying to remember where my clothes are and how the hell they got off me in the first place?? Hopefully that wasn’t too much information for our first meeting. I will try to be as honest as possible when writing, so you might want to get used to it. I think that’s enough for now.

Snow White signing off….. I’ll let you know how the weekend went.



Picture borrowed from Pink Sherbet Photography on Flickr.